When I say I began preparations for Thanksgiving early, I mean really early. Like, within 5 minutes of realizing that 11 adults and 6 children would be joining us around the table for the festivities, I started putting my new dining room table to the test…pulling out the leaves, and trying to arrange 11 chairs around it. I bought the biggest tablecloth I could find. I bought placemats. I searched the basement for the 13 place settings of fine china we got for our wedding 8 years ago and only used once since. Honestly, I would’ve gone ahead and set the table weeks ago if I weren’t having a large group at my house the Sunday before. (It’s embarassing enough when people come over and see your house decked out for Christmas before Thanksgiving. I could not rationalize also having my table set for Thanksgiving 5 days in advance.)

In my defense, I have always wanted to host a big, nice holiday dinner but never had the space to do it. For years were were in our little apartment, then our townhouse with our small round glass table in the eat in kitchen. Last year we got the big dining room but had no table in it, nor did our family come to us for the holidays. Now that we’re in Syracuse, we are able to have both sides of our families together. My family lives local and we have enough room to house Brian’s family. Enter the Thanksgiving dinner party of my dreams. At long last I’d have the opportunity to channel my inner Martha Stewart and produce a tradition-worthy holiday.

We busted out the good china, we pulled in extra chairs, we planned, shopped, planned and shopped some more. We bought a 20 pound turkey, and when that turkey stunk up the garage fridge…and the rest of the garage, we got another one. We ironed table linens and wiped the dust off the fine china (ok, let’s be honest, I ironed the table linens and wiped the dust off the fine china…there is only so much domestication I can subject my husband to). We cooked as much as we could in advance, divvied up the cooking with our guests, and on Thanksgiving day, all systems were go. Things went relatively smoothly, except for the fact that our 22 lb turkey defied the laws of physics and took close to 5 hours to come up to temp. Fortunately the appetizers and spirits had been out for a couple of hours already so no one seemed to mind the delay (except for me, obviously).

It was an absolute blast…even before dinner started! How blessed we are to have such great families, immediate and extended, that we can all get together and have an enjoyable relaxing day together. And sitting down for the main event was no exception. So when everyone was finishing up dinner and my younger sister Caroline leaned over to me (repeatedly, despite my attempts to ignore her) and suggested we go around the table and say what we’re thankful for, I set into a bit of a panic. Everything had gone so well thus far…families blending…no awkwardness, and she wanted to put this occasion to the ultimate awkward test by “passing the mic” around this table of adults? Martha would not approve of such impromptu and unscripted holiday fun.

But when she ignored the fact that I was ignoring her and announced her idea to the entire table, I was pleasantly surprised (and bashfully put in my place). I will forever remember this Thanksgiving by the things said around that table. Everyone was honest, and transparent. We shared our joys and the blessings we had found in the midst of loss, sadness and unrest. We thanked each other for each other. We said the things that we often assume the people we love already know, but they so love hearing it. We learned more about the people we didn’t know that well, and we learned more about the people we thought we knew really well.

All in all, it was not planned, it was not prepared. It couldn’t be set up in advance, or purchased. I could not iron the wrinkles out of it, or wipe the dust off of it in preparation. But it was, without question, the most beautiful part of our picture perfect Thanksgiving day.

Through the Foundation for Children in Need, I will be traveling with a group of people to help reconstruct this orphanage. Currently, these 62 children are living under tents and eating, at best, one meal a day of rice and beans. Many of them have not been held in weeks, unless by eachother. In addition to construction, we will be bringing much needed food, water, diapers, and supplies to the orphanage, as well as playing with and loving these children.

My personal goal is not only to raise the funds to cover my trip, but to raise additional funds to help sustain the 62 children living in this orphanage. $93 provides one day of food, diapers, personal care and cleaning supplies for the entire orphanage.

You can donate by mailing a check made out to Brian Howe with “Haiti” in the memo. You can also donate online by visiting FFCIN’s donation page, then under Volunteer Program, choose “Brian Howe” from the drop down list, and click “Make A Donation.” Libby’s name is still listed as we originally planned on taking this trip together, but her new job prevents her from coming, so please make any donations under my name.

Thank you so much for partnering with me, and making a lasting investment in the future of these children.

Brian Howe

Well you can imagine my list(s) when I found out I’d have an extended amount of time at home. Visions of a perfectly organized closet, garage, and a pristine house that never had dirty clothes or dishes in it danced merrily in my head. In fact, I didn’t even need to make the lists, because I knew it would all get done, and if it didn’t, I still had the next day to get it done, or the next day, and so on.

But that’s exactly what the problem is. There is absolutely no urgency around my projects. So little in fact that they haven’t even been listed. If I’m honest, my approach to each day at home has changed significantly since the beginning of January. For example, I had a stunning start out of the gate…I’d get up before Avery, shower, sometimes even exercise, and Brian came home every day to a perfectly clean house, dinner, and some sort of amazing pronouncement like “I emptied, cleaned, reshelved, repainted and reorganized the pantry alphabetically and by expiration date today.” Every night when I turned off the lights and headed upstairs, the toys were neatly packed and tucked behind the couch so I couldn’t see them when I walked downstairs. The dishes were clean and put away. Brian’s lunch was ready to go in the fridge. Even the coffee was set to brew at 6:45 sharp the next morning for another perfectly productive day as a domestic diva.

[Yes, if you're wondering, I have mild OCD.]

And as time passed some interesting things happened. I mean, you adjust to some of the changes of staying at home pretty quickly, like deciding what to wear (or if you should change out of pajamas at all) when the only people who will see you are yourself and your 16 month old, or gradually paring down your get ready routine, and getting used to the sight of yourself without makeup on.

But these changes are a little different. The toys? After putting them away and pulling them back out 46 times I realized that may not be the most productive use of my time. And the kitchen? Well I obsess over having it immaculately clean, but it only stays that way for a half hour, so what’s the use in that? And as for the projects…well I have cleaned out the shoes in my closet but the bag that needs to go to goodwill is still sitting in my hall.

No, clearly these behaviors were not effective. I had to find a better way to use my time at home. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still getting the important stuff done, but what about all those other little carveouts of time? Like when Avery sleeps an extra half hour and I have a peaceful house all to myself with no pressing to-do’s on my list?

I haven’t really figured out what the best uses of my time are, but what I can tell you is this: Yesterday, I sat down and watched 20 straight minutes of Dr. Oz. In the middle of the day. It was glorious. He was talking about bioterrorism. I got so freaked out I made a list of emergency items to keep in the house and told Brian that we needed to designate an emergency meeting place in case we encountered a disaster (to which he responded, wryly, “ok I have the perfect place…home”). Oh, and this morning, I woke up to the sound of Avery banging on her crib and singing (not screaming, singing) “mama,” walked to her room in my robe, went downstairs and sipped coffee, watched the Today show and played for the first hour of my day. 

Yes, I realize I’m swinging from one extreme to another, and I’m really not sure where I’m going to land on this issue, but I do know this much. This morning at 7:30 while I was sitting on the floor sipping coffee, Avery gave me a huge bear hug, rested her head on my shoulder, patted my back and said “Mama” over and over. I will never, ever forget that moment. As for my messy garage…well it will still be there tomorrow.

Penne with roasted vegetables: This is a favorite of Brian’s and mine and we just omitted the cheese and butter. I even made my own sauce and put some spinach in it. I would use less peas, maybe a half cup, and make sure you bake it covered or it will dry out.

Mexican anything: We tried veggie crumbles last week but were not big fans, so instead, we just mix up some corn & black beans (I didn’t even bother to season them, but you could), and use that in place of taco meat, and you have MANY possibilities. You could make Burritos with rice, fat free refried beans, onions, lettuce, tomatoes, salsa and guacamole with some fresh cilantro. YUM. Or hard tacos. YUM. Or even just throw it all over some corn chips and have nachos. Again, YUM!

Quesadillas: I know these are technically mexican but they deserve a listing of their own. Use the whole wheat wraps, put some refried beans on both sides since you’re not using cheese and you’ll need “glue,” and I just throw in black beans, corn, bell peppers & onions. Then top them with some salsa and guacamole. They’re DEEEELICIOUS.

Stir Fry: This is a chicken stir fry recipe that I’m going to attempt to make this weekend with just lots of veggies. Try it out! Stir fry some broccoli, carrots, celery, onion, and whatever other veggies you’d like for 4-5 minutes in a tbsp or 2 of oil. Add this mixture (already mixed) 1 tbsp cornstarch, 2 tbsp soy sauce, 1/2 tsp ground ginger, 1/4 tsp garlic powder, and 1 cup of stock. Cook and stir until thickened and bubbly. Serve over brown rice.

Minestrone Soup: I am a huge fan of allrecipes.com and this recipe is another catch from their site. I did not include the zucchini, used stock instead of water and seasoning, added an extra can of diced tomatoes, and used WAY more italian herbs. And per Brian’s request I added about 10 oz whole wheat penne (already cooked). It was awesome. In fact I’m eating the leftovers right now.

Granola Bites: A friend passed these on to another friend, who passed them on to me, and I am ever grateful! Place 2 tbsp almonds and 1/4 cup of oats in a food processor, process to fine crumbs and set aside. In a large bowl, combine 1 1/2 cups oats with 1/3 cup each dried apples, apricots and raisins (all finely chopped), and 2 tbsp raw sunflower seeds and 1/2 tsp cinnamon. Then combine the dry ingredients with 1/2 cup natural peanut butter, 1/4 cup honey, and 1/2 tsp vanilla extract. Form them into 1″ balls (or smaller for kids, Avery loves them) and coat them with the almond mixture. Refrigerate about 4 hours and enjoy! They keep really well in an airtight container and are great snack, breakfast, or dessert options.

Bon Appetit!

• Families: Obviously the complete Daniel Fast may not be appropriate for children depending on their age. For example, our 1 year old, who can’t even begin to comprehend the purpose of the fast, will not be participating at all. But as our family grows I hope to have my kids increase their participation as they age. For example, a young child could give up a few of their favorite foods, a kid in grade school could give up sugar and/or soda, and a teenager could follow the entire fast but perhaps just add in chicken for protein. Again, the attitude is what’s important.
  Overall, I see fasting as a family as a great opportunity to really pass the torch on to our kids. Maybe another part of the fast is turning off the TV between certain hours, having dinner as a family and refocusing on the purpose of the fast. The more I think about it, I’m really looking forward to doing this as our family grows.
• COFFEE: Giving up coffee is hands down the most challenging part of the fast for me! I’ve actually considered brewing it in the morning just to wake up to that sweet smell. But I think that would actually be slightly torturous. If you’re like me and just really want something hot to drink in the morning, herbal tea with honey is your best bet. Not black tea, not decaf tea, but herbal tea.
• Water: Cutting meat, dairy, sugar, artifical additives, caffiene and preservatives from your diet will pretty much put your body in a mild detox. Ok, a moderate detox! Water is key. First of all, it’s pretty much the only thing you will be drinking. Second, it will help flush toxins out of your system as they’re naturally released by your body. And for those of you who start your day with coffee every day…and maybe require a pickup in the afternoon too…I have no idea what the science is behind this but drinking water throughout the day will keep that massive caffeine headache at bay. Oh don’t get me wrong, you’ll probably still get it on day one, but it won’t be as bad if you’re well hydrated.
• Breakfast: You can make a very quick and easy breakfast on the Daniel Fast. Just buy Old Fashioned Oats (you don’t even have to get the quick cooking ones) and put them in a big bowl (otherwise it will boil over) with about 2x as much water and microwave 2-3 minutes. I used to even do this at work. Add in a banana, some cinnamon and honey and you’re good. You could add apple too, but I would actually cook that in the microwave with the oatmeal so it softens more and gives off some of its flavor.
  Don’t forget that especially while fasting it is very important to keep eating protein, so add a handful of nuts to your breakfast, or try a couple of spoonfuls of natural peanut butter with your oatmeal (hmmm, and maybe some all fruit jelly…)
• Fast Food: No, you obviously can’t eat fast food, but I would keep some prepared foods handy in case you’re running out the door to work and don’t have leftovers handy. One option is a grocery store with a salad bar, or Salad Creations, where you can choose your ingredients and dressings. As far as prepared foods you can buy, there aren’t many out there, but Amy’s Organics makes a few great canned soups that are completely vegan. For example, Amy’s Black Bean Vegetable soup is a great option (in fact there are several soups on that page that would work, check the ingredients though, as some include dairy or pasta). These canned goods are also great if you want to take a night off of cooking.
• Snacks: The following will be in my house in abundance for the next 3 weeks:
  - Unsalted Nuts
  - Rice cakes with natural peanut butter and all fruit jelly (At my grocery store, the store brand of rice cakes, if you check the label, is made with whole grain brown rice). If you think rice cakes taste like cardboard, trust me, keep some of these handy. By Wednesday mid morning, they will taste like little drops of heaven
  - Popcorn. Popcorn? Yes, Popcorn! About a tbsp of oil, about a half cup of kernels depending on the size of your pot, shake it up so the kernels are coated, turn the burner on high, and let them pop away. Add a little sea salt. Mmmmm. Delicious and way cheaper than the bags.
  - Hummus and veggies. This is a great snack with protein to keep you going, and the best part is you can add some variety by changing up the veggies and the flavor of hummus. You can make your own hummus too but, well, I’ll be doing enough cooking next week, I’ll take the store bought hummus!
• Weighing the results: OK now an obvious result of cutting all the garbage out of your diet for three whole weeks is that your pants will probably fit a little – ok, a LOT better. And let’s be honest, who’s not excited about that?! But having thought a lot about the upcoming fast and what I personally want to gain from it, I’ve decided my scale is going into storage for the duration of the fast. I know that I’m inclined to lose focus, and I want to keep my eyes on the spiritual gain, not the physical losses, so I challenge you to do it with me! The physical health is a natural byproduct, but the spiritual health is the true purpose, so don’t let a focus on the former trump the latter!

Brian and I have done the Daniel fast in the past, and as this one came up, if I’m being completely honest, I found myself dreading it, but not for the obvious reasons of limiting certain foods. I was not as concerned about the eating limitations as I was about the extra time, thought and energy it would take to feed our family on it. Realizing that the true purpose of the fast is to direct focus away from food and towards God, I’m hoping that an extra dose of preparation will help me to do just that rather than getting caught up in the minutae of shopping and cooking.

So here it is, this week’s menu for our family, complete with recipes. Keep in mind that some substitutions can be made consistently. For example, if a recipe calls for chicken stock you can use vegetable stock. If it calls for sugar, try honey instead, etc.

Monday we’ll conclude the 24 hour juice fast with a couple of my all time favorite recipes that just happen to be Daniel Fast friendly: Sweet Potato Fries, Mediterranean Succotash and Brown Rice Pilaf (no recipe for this one, just brown rice prepared with a little veg stock with veggies added in…carrots, peas, mushrooms, corn…whatever you want).

Tuesday I’m trying out a new recipe, Spicy Bean Soup. Probably with a salad.

Wednesday we’ll have Channa Masala, an Indian dish with curried chick peas, potatoes and peas in a tomato sauce. I’ll serve it over basmati brown rice. If you don’t like Indian food, then – well first off if you don’t like Indian food, I kinda feel sorry for you because you’re MISSING OUT! But truth is, this would be a great recipe for you to try out Indian food with because you can control the spice level yourself by adding less of the curry paste. Just try it ok?!

Thursday nights Brian and I aren’t home, which brings me to another point. These recipes are all very leftover friendly, with the exception of the sweet potato fries (do not eat them leftover ever…finish the whole pan). Which means you’re all set for lunches, and that busy weeknight you don’t have time to cook.

Friday night we’ll visit another delicious foreign dish, Thai Curry with Basil, which I’ll serve over brown rice.

Figure in lots of leftovers and that’s week one in a nutshell. Not so bad, huh?

Let me conclude with this. I know the point of the fast really isn’t to see how deliciously you can eat while still following the restrictions of the fast (although with these recipes you may feel that way), but no matter how you view the food, the restrictions, the routine – all of it – the real point is the spirit in which you participate. If you’re approaching it as a burden and plan to complain your way through it, why even bother? If you approach it as an adventure through which you intend to focus more energy and attention on the One who made the ultimate sacrifice for you (hmmm, food for thought there, kinda makes giving up sugar, meat and dairy pale in comparison huh), you can’t lose. Whether you eat plain beans and rice leftover every night or take a vegan culinary journey around the globe every week, the spirit you do it with will determine the outcome.

So whether it’s making my menu, writing out the list, spending extra time shopping or a few extra minutes cooking every night, I’m hoping that this entire change of pace will be an opportunity to harness my thoughts and draw closer to God. Because even if I follow each and every guideline of the fast to a T, if I miss out on the true purpose, I’ve really just wasted three weeks of delicious greasy food haven’t I.

Tomorrow I’ll be posting some tips and tricks for breakfast and snacks throughout the day, not just dinner recipes. Also, I’ll be posting my recipes for the following two weeks as well, and concluding with the meatiest, cheesiest Superbowl menu you could ever imagine for the Sunday we break the fast!

It has also brought me to where I am right now. Sitting in front of the TV and folding laundry. Two things I rarely do. But when I actually get a chance to, I love it. I realize that’s really weird. I think I like it so much because if I’m sitting in front of the TV folding laundry, it means Avery is sleeping (to her a basket of laundry is like a box of shiny new toys to disperse around the living room). It also means that pretty much everything else around the house is done. Cooking and cleaning the kitchen are typically higher on my priority list, and picking up of course, for my sanity. And, well, folding laundry also means that the laundry is clean and dry, which in itself is rare.

Today all of those things are true. And the beds are made. And lunch is made…and dinner. In fact the only thing left to do is vacuum…which is always left to do when you have a kid. Because I never vacuum when she’s awake, and can’t really do it when she sleeps.

I think folding laundry in front of the TV is the best kind of relaxation for a neat freak with mild OCD like me. Because it’s enjoyably relaxing AND it’s productive. Bonus! (See how sick I am?)

Anyways, this weekend has left me with so much time to myself that I actually remembered I had a blog! I really do miss blogging. And I hope to do it more often but, well, life happens, and it appears that blogging is even lower on my list than folding laundry. We’ll see!

Twitter has it’s advantages. But the specific ones that won me over were as follows: It’s completely portable (sorry, but even I can’t tolerate punching out an entire blog on my iPhone), it really doesn’t require any obligation, and it makes stalking even easier, even welcomed. Most importantly it satisfies my craving for self-divulgence…with half the fat and calories! You know what I mean. Twitter is all the fun with less work.

Unfortunately, Twitter has proven itself a little too micro for someone as macro-mouthed as myself. The word twitter actually means “a short burst of inconsequential information.” Vertical measurements aside, there is nothing short about me, or more specifically, about the way I share information, inconsequential though it may be. I can’t tell you how many times I have tortured myself trying to cram my thoughts and happenings into 140 measly characters. Sometimes I can’t even get a sentence out in 140 characters. I am longwinded. It’s who I am.

On top of that, I think Twitter has taught me something about myself. It turns out I don’t just want to blab out tons of information about myself…I actually enjoy it. Writing is an outlet for me. I don’t just want to get the word out in the fastest way possible with the least amount of characters. I actually want to take time to write about things.

In short (haha), my constant snacking on Twitter has still left me hungry for something with a little more meat on it. So will I be abandoning Twitter like I did this blog? Nope. I still think Twitter has it’s place, just not as a replacement for blogging.

You’ve probably already seen this picture on twitter or facebook but I think it’s adorable so here it is again.

No, that’s not a backdrop, that’s the real live view from Andy and Staci’s backyard! And the little hunk of cuteness in the picture is Jenn and Steve’s son, Drew.

Gigi lost her husband to cancer just a few months before my mom lost my dad to cancer. She’s been living on her own for five years now, with lots of family closeby to help out as needed, and keep her company (or should I say, enjoy her company…my grandma is hilarious, and loads of fun!). However, she recently received a diagnosis that prompted our family, herself included, to agree it was time to move her into an assisted living facility. So my mom, along with her sister, spent this past week scoping out possible locations, working on logistics, and ultimately just caring for their mom.

Like the great husband and father that he is, Brian gave me complete decision-making rights today…I got to pick where we went to lunch, where we order dinner from (he just suggested Juicy Burgers…I love him), and how I spent my afternoon while he watched Avery. As strange as you may find this, all I wanted to do was spend a couple of hours out front getting rid of a ton of weeds and a climbing rose bush that had disappointed me for two summers already. So he stayed in with her and I headed outside to do some work.

What a huge pain that rose bush was! The neglected condition it was in shows me that it had been there many, many years, and I knew there would be a lot of roots to pull up. I went to town cutting back all the brush first so I wouldn’t get punctured by thorns every five seconds. It filled one lawn bag about two thirds of the way and I thought I should start with a fresh one as I tackled the roots. I started with what I saw poking through the ground and followed it, destroying any ground that got in my way until I reached the end. About two hours and two full lawn bags later, I found myself about a foot into the ground and four feet from where I’d started.

I couldn’t help but think of how amazing this root system was. The span was unbelievable, the depth was surprising, and the volume of them was…well it was really heavy. I kept thinking about how even the roots four feet out from where the bush broke through the ground’s surface were integral in keeping it there. Or how many roots it took to hold the bush in place. I couldn’t help but realize how I paid so much attention to what I saw above the surface and often forgot about the amazing (and much larger) root system that supported it.

As I came inside after finishing up, and heated up a cup of coffee from this morning’s pot (something both Gigi and Mimi do!) I couldn’t stop thinking about the amazing women whose legacy I have the privilege of carrying on…the women who make up my strong roots. That includes my mom, her mom, and my dad’s mom. Women of God, women of prayer, women of strength and purpose. I am ashamed to say I sometimes forget how their lives are the very reason I am who I am today…they have supported me and been my life line.

Then my mind wanders to my daughter and the great things I hope to see her accomplish in her lifetime. I hope that I can be the kind of influence on her that my mom has been on me. And of all the great things I hope she does, all the things I hope she experiences, I can think of no greater ambition for my daughter than for her continue this great legacy of women in the Massey and Acuff families…for my baby girl to someday know the joy, the honor, the privilege, and the great responsibility that is motherhood.

I wish I had pictures of Avery with BOTH of my grandma’s but for now, here is one of her with my dad’s mom “Dadaji.” Bonding with her granddaughter and her great granddaughter!