A happy medium?

So I’ve been home for about six weeks and my life as a stay at home mom has evolved significantly since I started out. I remember when I was working, if I found myself with ONE day at home I would get soooo excited and immediately start making lists in my head (or on my phone) of all of the long overdue projects that needed to be completed that day. Sometimes it would be as simple as 1. Dishes 2. Laundry. If I was particularly on top of my game, I might tackle reorganizing the pile of shoes in my closet, or cleaning out the garage.

Well you can imagine my list(s) when I found out I’d have an extended amount of time at home. Visions of a perfectly organized closet, garage, and a pristine house that never had dirty clothes or dishes in it danced merrily in my head. In fact, I didn’t even need to make the lists, because I knew it would all get done, and if it didn’t, I still had the next day to get it done, or the next day, and so on.

But that’s exactly what the problem is. There is absolutely no urgency around my projects. So little in fact that they haven’t even been listed. If I’m honest, my approach to each day at home has changed significantly since the beginning of January. For example, I had a stunning start out of the gate…I’d get up before Avery, shower, sometimes even exercise, and Brian came home every day to a perfectly clean house, dinner, and some sort of amazing pronouncement like “I emptied, cleaned, reshelved, repainted and reorganized the pantry alphabetically and by expiration date today.” Every night when I turned off the lights and headed upstairs, the toys were neatly packed and tucked behind the couch so I couldn’t see them when I walked downstairs. The dishes were clean and put away. Brian’s lunch was ready to go in the fridge. Even the coffee was set to brew at 6:45 sharp the next morning for another perfectly productive day as a domestic diva.

[Yes, if you're wondering, I have mild OCD.]

And as time passed some interesting things happened. I mean, you adjust to some of the changes of staying at home pretty quickly, like deciding what to wear (or if you should change out of pajamas at all) when the only people who will see you are yourself and your 16 month old, or gradually paring down your get ready routine, and getting used to the sight of yourself without makeup on.

But these changes are a little different. The toys? After putting them away and pulling them back out 46 times I realized that may not be the most productive use of my time. And the kitchen? Well I obsess over having it immaculately clean, but it only stays that way for a half hour, so what’s the use in that? And as for the projects…well I have cleaned out the shoes in my closet but the bag that needs to go to goodwill is still sitting in my hall.

No, clearly these behaviors were not effective. I had to find a better way to use my time at home. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still getting the important stuff done, but what about all those other little carveouts of time? Like when Avery sleeps an extra half hour and I have a peaceful house all to myself with no pressing to-do’s on my list?

I haven’t really figured out what the best uses of my time are, but what I can tell you is this: Yesterday, I sat down and watched 20 straight minutes of Dr. Oz. In the middle of the day. It was glorious. He was talking about bioterrorism. I got so freaked out I made a list of emergency items to keep in the house and told Brian that we needed to designate an emergency meeting place in case we encountered a disaster (to which he responded, wryly, “ok I have the perfect place…home”). Oh, and this morning, I woke up to the sound of Avery banging on her crib and singing (not screaming, singing) “mama,” walked to her room in my robe, went downstairs and sipped coffee, watched the Today show and played for the first hour of my day. 

Yes, I realize I’m swinging from one extreme to another, and I’m really not sure where I’m going to land on this issue, but I do know this much. This morning at 7:30 while I was sitting on the floor sipping coffee, Avery gave me a huge bear hug, rested her head on my shoulder, patted my back and said “Mama” over and over. I will never, ever forget that moment. As for my messy garage…well it will still be there tomorrow.

My life as a SAHM

That title pretty much sums my experience of being at home with Avery. Why? Well for starters, 2 months ago, I didn’t even know there was an abbreviation for Stay at Home Mom. I thought you were just a mom who got to stay at home. And to some extent I am, but, as the acronym suggests, being a “SAHM” is a unique career that, until you’re in it, you really can’t begin to understand.

How can I put this in non-SAHM’s terms…Have you ever had (or, most likely, left) a job where you felt like the people you worked with were children, and you spent most of your time cleaning up their messes? I think you know where I’m going with this! This morning, for example, I thought I had discovered a way to carve out seven minutes for myself to do the dishes. Avery has taken a recent interest in Posh’s food bowl, and learned several weeks ago not to touch the water (or eat the food), but to take out the food and then let Posh eat it off the floor. Talk about killing two birds with one stone – dog and baby entertained. About 45 seconds into doing the dishes I discovered Avery sitting in a small pond of dog-mouth infested water, sprinkled with soggy pellets of food.

There’s a little taste for you, but that’s a pretty typical experience here in SAHM land. Now, I must point out that my current experience isn’t really standard, since I’m in a sort of limbo here looking for a new job, and am also without a car. I’m sure my super-SAHM peers find fantastic activities to keep them and their children entertained, and have projects and goals that keep the days from getting repetitive. And while I sometimes do have a car and manage an outing, I really have no goals for myself other than the following: keep the house clean, keep the kid clean, make dinner and look for jobs.

Obviously I’m not naming the LONG list of advantages to being at home, but that’s not the point of this particular post. The point is to let the world know once and for all that staying at home is among the most challenging of jobs (and I only have ONE KID)! Today I woke up and was on duty at 6:30 am, despite a stomachache and the remains of a stubborn cold. No calling in sick on this assignment! I was greeted by a wildly energetic 16 month old with a steaming hot surprise in her diaper, as I am with the dawning of each new day. Joy. I’ve also learned that the more I’ve been home, the more attached Avery is to me, which has resulted in a little girl who demands nothing less than momma’s full attention when she’s awake, making even the smallest of tasks a whole new challenge. I’ll clock out around 6:30 or 7 tonight, probably put in another 30 minutes so I can check off “keep the house clean” from my to-do list, and call it a day.

Am I complaining? Absolutely not! This particular job boasts some very exclusive benefits, including therapeutic fits of unstoppable laughter, energy-boosting tickle fights, and tons of affirming hugs and peanut butter flavored kisses. But if I’m being honest, when I learned that I was going to be at home starting January 1st, I may have thought to myself “Aaaah, what a nice, restful vacation this will be for me.”

Don’t worry, I stand corrected!

A few more recipes…

Oops, so I severely slacked in providing a weekly menu! My apologies! But here are a few more recipes to get you through and then I do promise to provide a couple really good Superbowl recipes!

Penne with roasted vegetables: This is a favorite of Brian’s and mine and we just omitted the cheese and butter. I even made my own sauce and put some spinach in it. I would use less peas, maybe a half cup, and make sure you bake it covered or it will dry out.

Mexican anything: We tried veggie crumbles last week but were not big fans, so instead, we just mix up some corn & black beans (I didn’t even bother to season them, but you could), and use that in place of taco meat, and you have MANY possibilities. You could make Burritos with rice, fat free refried beans, onions, lettuce, tomatoes, salsa and guacamole with some fresh cilantro. YUM. Or hard tacos. YUM. Or even just throw it all over some corn chips and have nachos. Again, YUM!

Quesadillas: I know these are technically mexican but they deserve a listing of their own. Use the whole wheat wraps, put some refried beans on both sides since you’re not using cheese and you’ll need “glue,” and I just throw in black beans, corn, bell peppers & onions. Then top them with some salsa and guacamole. They’re DEEEELICIOUS.

Stir Fry: This is a chicken stir fry recipe that I’m going to attempt to make this weekend with just lots of veggies. Try it out! Stir fry some broccoli, carrots, celery, onion, and whatever other veggies you’d like for 4-5 minutes in a tbsp or 2 of oil. Add this mixture (already mixed) 1 tbsp cornstarch, 2 tbsp soy sauce, 1/2 tsp ground ginger, 1/4 tsp garlic powder, and 1 cup of stock. Cook and stir until thickened and bubbly. Serve over brown rice.

Minestrone Soup: I am a huge fan of allrecipes.com and this recipe is another catch from their site. I did not include the zucchini, used stock instead of water and seasoning, added an extra can of diced tomatoes, and used WAY more italian herbs. And per Brian’s request I added about 10 oz whole wheat penne (already cooked). It was awesome. In fact I’m eating the leftovers right now.

Granola Bites: A friend passed these on to another friend, who passed them on to me, and I am ever grateful! Place 2 tbsp almonds and 1/4 cup of oats in a food processor, process to fine crumbs and set aside. In a large bowl, combine 1 1/2 cups oats with 1/3 cup each dried apples, apricots and raisins (all finely chopped), and 2 tbsp raw sunflower seeds and 1/2 tsp cinnamon. Then combine the dry ingredients with 1/2 cup natural peanut butter, 1/4 cup honey, and 1/2 tsp vanilla extract. Form them into 1″ balls (or smaller for kids, Avery loves them) and coat them with the almond mixture. Refrigerate about 4 hours and enjoy! They keep really well in an airtight container and are great snack, breakfast, or dessert options.

Bon Appetit!