Someone very wise has been telling me lately that before you can look forward, you have to look backward. I haven’t made any new years resolutions yet, and I’m not even sure that I will. Either way, I think it’s healthy to take a look back, especially when you’ve had a big year like we have. So instead of sharing three words that I have chosen for 2009, I’ll share with you three words that sum up 2008.
Change
Yes, this year has brought tremendous change to our lives in the most obvious ways…my growing belly, our extreme home makeover to accomodate little Avery, me being at home temporarily, and now indefinitely… and, of course, Avery herself. But more importantly, 2008 has taught me how to embrace change. Being slightly OCD as I am, I like to stick to my plans, and I start to tense up a bit when someone starts messing with them. This year I have learned a few things about change. First of all, it is inevitable. Second, you’re better off embracing it than resisting it, especially because it’s happening whether you like it or not. Third, change = opportunity (but only if you’re embracing it). If you’d asked me on January 1st of last year, you’d learn that I wasn’t planning on many/any of the changes that came our way in 2008, but if you asked me on January 1st of 2009, I wouldn’t take a single one back. We are so blessed to be where we are, to have what we have, and the future holds nothing but opportunity for our family. Yup, change is good.
Trust
This one goes hand in hand with the last one. 2008 has strengthened my faith tremendously, thanks in large part to all the unanticipated changes!Brian and I saw God bless us with our first child at what we now realize was the perfect time in our life. We saw Him test our faith by altering our financial circumstances. We saw Him remain faithful to His promise to be our Provider. I can’t tell you how many of the circumstances that came about in ’08 made me worry about how things would work out for us…how to prepare for a child, when to go out on maternity leave, to induce or not to induce, how to plan for a loss of income…it may sound trivial to you, but for a planner like me these decisions can be nightmares. 2008 taught me to trust God, the ultimate planner, who ordered my days long before I had the ability to plan them out. I have learned to loosen my grip on the reigns…since I’m not really the one holding them anyways. I have learned that God really does work all things together for GOOD for those who love Him. And I’m much more at peace watching Him keep His promises instead of stressing over how I’m going to control my life.
Love
I had some trouble landing on this last one, but I think the word love sums it up well. In 2008, I learned to love my husband more…we’ve never been better at this marriage thing than we are right now. I fell in love with a little girl who steals my heart with every coo, every smile, and yes, even every diaper change and spit up. But in an even deeper sense, I have learned the meaning of love in a new way this year. I am overwhelmed by God’s love; that He has given me the gift of family, and allowed me to experience love (both given and received) in a completely new way. I’m also keenly aware of what it means to have a child and consider losing that child, which floors me when I consider God’s love for us, and the fact that He gave up his own child as a result of it. This may seem strange to you, but sometimes when I hold my baby, and close my eyes, and just melt away in that moment, I feel like God is looking at me and smiling, and saying “See, that’s how much I love you.” So much that He gave up everything for me. So much that He is orchestrating everything that happens to me so that I will have a life that is full, and so that I will know Him more, and love Him more, and become more like Him.
So, while I may not have completed a new project, lost a bunch of weight, or mastered a new hobby, I have to say that 2008 was a very, very good year. A year of change. A year of growth. As for 2009? Well, I think it’s safe to say anything can happen…
Saw you on tv! Looks like 2009 will be a great year!
(You looked beautiful!)
Not completed a new project???!!! What about Avery? I think God used you (and Brian too) to complete one of the biggest projects that will EVER come your way. And so far, you’re doing a fantastic job handling all the trials, tribulations and “promotions” that come with the new job. I’d say it’s been a very good year.