Normal? What’s that? I think many of you who are parents might tell me to kiss the concept of normal goodbye. But either way, I’m seeing life returning to “normal” in about a week, but I’m also realizing that it’s an all new “normal.”
It’s been a long time since things were normal. I stopped working in September and sat around at home waiting for Avery to grace us with her presence for four weeks. Not normal. Then she was born…enough said. Definitely not normal. Then Brian went back to work and I stayed home temporarily until my maternity leave ended. Not normal. Then I went back to work only to find out I’d finish up two and a half weeks, and then my job would be done. Not normal. Then Christmas, and New Years, and family visiting us, and us visiting family. Not normal.
So when we get home from visiting my family in Syracuse, we’ll settle into our new normal. Brian working, me at home…indefinitely. It’s weird that life is going back to normal after so long, and after so many periods of change. And it’s even weirder that the new normal won’t be the same as the old normal.
Avery has been such a good baby for us that making her part of our new normal has been easy…actually, it’s been awesome. I couldn’t imagine going back to life without her for a single day. I’m more concerned about my normal. Becoming a mom is weird. Your identity starts to change as your belly grows, and just as exponentially as the pace of that outward change accelerates, the way people view you changes.
I remember going out on a date when Avery was about six weeks old. We went to dinner and out to see Legally Blonde at Proctor’s. I remember walking through the restaurant going to the ladies room, realizing that for the first time in ten months I was just me. I didn’t have a baby bump, or a huge belly, or a carseat in my hand. Not a pregnant woman, not a mom, just me.
It was extremely awkward, and if I’m being honest, it actually made me a little uncomfortable.
As for my new normal? Well I think it’s safe to say that I’ll adjust just fine, and even if I could taste the old normal for a week, or a day, or a couple of hours, I would still take the new normal over the old…even if I’m not sure what exactly it is yet.
Wow, i have to say, i feel the same way about the first time i was alone in a ladies room. haha i sounds weird, but i felt the same way, feeling funny about not having anyone with me. It was just “me” again. It was nice not worrying about where to put Nevaeya or whatever, but it was kinda lonely. I think to myself….how did i ever shop alone? Or drive alone? I always have Nevaeya and now that she’s older, she talks in the car and sings, and when she isn’t with me, i find myself looking in the backseat to see if she’s sleeping. It is kinda weird and lonely without them now isn’t it? I hear ya!
Libby- don’t know why- must be the pregnancy- but this post made me get choked up…. possibly because lately I have been realizing that we once again will have a major change in our “normal” but just like you, with each change, I would never want my old normal over my new…. look forward to hopefully seeing you on New Year’s Eve and meeting Brian for the first time!
It’s a little like having your husband out of town for a couple of days. For the first day or two it’s like the old “single” normal. But then you long for the new normal of having your other half back at your side…whether it be fixing what he likes for dinner or letting him handle the remote. Children are the same way…can’t wait to hand them off to the sitter, and then can’t wait to get back home to kiss their sleeping face goodnight.