The new normal

Normal? What’s that? I think many of you who are parents might tell me to kiss the concept of normal goodbye. But either way, I’m seeing life returning to “normal” in about a week, but I’m also realizing that it’s an all new “normal.”

It’s been a long time since things were normal. I stopped working in September and sat around at home waiting for Avery to grace us with her presence for four weeks. Not normal. Then she was born…enough said. Definitely not normal. Then Brian went back to work and I stayed home temporarily until my maternity leave ended. Not normal. Then I went back to work only to find out I’d finish up two and a half weeks, and then my job would be done. Not normal. Then Christmas, and New Years, and family visiting us, and us visiting family. Not normal.

So when we get home from visiting my family in Syracuse, we’ll settle into our new normal. Brian working, me at home…indefinitely. It’s weird that life is going back to normal after so long, and after so many periods of change. And it’s even weirder that the new normal won’t be the same as the old normal.

Avery has been such a good baby for us that making her part of our new normal has been easy…actually, it’s been awesome. I couldn’t imagine going back to life without her for a single day. I’m more concerned about my normal. Becoming a mom is weird. Your identity starts to change as your belly grows, and just as exponentially as the pace of that outward change accelerates, the way people view you changes.

I remember going out on a date when Avery was about six weeks old. We went to dinner and out to see Legally Blonde at Proctor’s. I remember walking through the restaurant going to the ladies room, realizing that for the first time in ten months I was just me. I didn’t have a baby bump, or a huge belly, or a carseat in my hand.  Not a pregnant woman, not a mom, just me.

It was extremely awkward, and if I’m being honest, it actually made me a little uncomfortable.

As for my new normal? Well I think it’s safe to say that I’ll adjust just fine, and even if I could taste the old normal for a week, or a day, or a couple of hours, I would still take the new normal over the old…even if I’m not sure what exactly it is yet.

Making mini-Mii’s

This Christmas will long be remembered for the memories we’ve made playing Wii with the fam. Between Uncle Dave bowling a 299, and me seriously injuring my shoulder playing tennis, we managed to find time to make our Mii’s. We had so much fun we even decided to make one for Avery. I think they kinda look like us. Whaddya think?

Finding Christmas

The Christmases of my childhood could be defined much like any kid’s Christmas…the day centered primarily around myself, my siblings, and the gifts we received. Days of anticipation led up to that shining moment when we saw what was under the tree, and just as that anticipation peaked, we started ripping into presents and seeing what treasures we had to start the new year with.

Yes, I realize it sounds horribly vain, but let’s be honest, isn’t that what Christmas is about for most kids? Thankfully, as I got a little older I started to enjoy the giving as much as, if not more than, the receiving. Not to put myself on a pedestal or anything…I’m sure it was mostly because I was still receiving in large quantities…but I really did love giving my family their gifts as much as I liked opening mine. So Christmas started to take on additional meaning; it was no longer just about the goodies I got, but the people I received from and gave to that brought significance to the occasion.

Since we got married, things have shifted once again. Obviously (and appropriately so) my parents are no longer spending a small fortune on me. In the last few years, Brian and I have really enjoyed spending time and money picking out gifts that show each of us what the other means to us, and doing the same for our families. As DINKs (double income no kids), we were able to not only attach meaning to each carefully selected gift, but usually a decent pricetag too.

I won’t lie, I was a little bit anxious to see what this year would be like. With several weeks of only a fraction of my salary behind us, and another change in financial circumstances ahead of us, Christmas had to be less expensive this year. Brian and I each agreed to only buy one gift for eachother, and we weren’t able to spoil our families like we usually like to. In fact, my family decided to all pitch in on a special family photography session instead of exchanging gifts. We even agreed not to buy Avery a single thing since 1) she doesn’t know the difference and 2) our families were spoiling her anyways!

To be honest, I think it made us both kind of sad not to go out and pick out gifts for eachother and our families. After all, isn’t that what Christmas is all about? 

Not at all. This Christmas was up there with the rest of them. In fact, I’m sure you won’t be surprised at all to hear it was the best ever. Five years ago, or even two years ago, I could describe every gift I gave and received to you in great detail. This year, I hardly remember all of that, but I do remember a few special moments.

Like looking out into the crowd at Northway Church Colonie Christmas Eve as people met Jesus and received the gift of true peace for the very first time. Like standing over Avery’s crib early in the morning with Brian’s whole family after they’d only slept a couple of hours, watching her smile as we woke her up and they saw her for the first time since she was born. Like Brian and his mom and dad surprising Dave with two tickets to a Syracuse game next weekend, then turning around and surprising his Dad with another ticket, so he could go to. Or laughing hysterically Christmas night playing games and sipping coffee.

So I guess the greatest gift I received this year was not found in a carefully selected, meticulously wrapped gift under the tree. The greatest gift I found this year was much bigger and better than that. This year, I found Christmas.

Christmas recap

• Christmas Eve Services at Colonie were awesome. 70+ people found peace this Christmas in God’s forgiveness. Can’t imagine a better gift than that.
• It was wierd to be back in the band singing for Christmas Eve. Last Christmas Eve we were in Malta, Colonie wasn’t even a thought, I was not pregnant or planning on becoming so…fast forward one year, we’re worshipping in Colonie with 300+ people, and Brian and I have the new love of our life with us.
• Took Brian’s mom out to dinner at P.F. Changs as a huge THANK YOU for all the free grammy-sitting she did over the previous 10 days!
• She kept asking me when I was going to get sick of her and kick her out. Kick her out? She does all my dishes and folds all my laundry before I even notice them. I’m going to be hurtin when she leaves!
• Brian’s dad, brother and sister got in at like 4 or 5 am. Why am I not sure which? Because I slept through it all. Saw them around 8 in the morning!
• Threw down some hashbrown casserole (tradition on my family’s side), cinnamon rolls (tradition on brian’s family’s side) and fruit salad (not a tradition but we really needed something nutritious since neither of the previously listed items are) before present time.
• Avery was already napping before presents started.
• She slept through all of it, and still got the most presents. Her Uncle Dave can’t stop buying her stuff! He has great taste.
• Played Wii for the first time. I guess it’s pretty realistic because I am as horrible at Wii bowling as I am at real bowling. I think my favorite part was making Mii. We even made a Mii for Avery.
• Had a traditional big family feast, and followed it up with apple pie, jubilee roll, and LOTS of christmas cookies over coffee and a game of Mad Gab with the fam.
• Can you solve this Mad Gab? “Dish Hippie Slaw Stats He” It’s my favorite one. Shout out to Dorothy and Gillian, I will never forget us gettings stumped over that one and trying to solve it in a Russian accent in The Hive!
• Fueled up with coffee, hashbrowns, scrambled eggs and fruit salad this morning before a FULL day of shopping.
• Before we hit the mall we celebrated Brian’s mom’s birthday over lunch! We even embarassed her old school style at the restaurant.
• The malls weren’t as insane as I expected. Not too much Mall Madness. Aww man, I used to love that game. Good times.
• Avery loved the mall(s) so much she refused to eat or sleep normally while she was there.
• I think she wanted a new outfit because although she arrived clean and had two changes of clothes, by 8:30pm she had soiled them all and we put her back in the cleanest thing we had left…jeans that previously held two soiled onesies and a shirt with lots of spit up on it. Better than the poop-stained stuff.
• She took forever to take her last bottle at the mall…Brian’s parents went shopping while “us kids” stayed with Ave. After staring at a little newsstand, Dave sprung up and asked who wanted to do a blind Coke/Pepsi taste test. So random. So awesome! Dave and I both got it right. Brian failed. Amber withdrew since she drinks regular and we were tasting the Diet variety.
• Impromptu blind Coke/Pepsi taste tests = awesome. Especially funny when you don’t have a blindfold or a straw so you are closing your eyes and trusting someone else NOT to pour soda all over you.
• Got home and Avery was fast asleep in her not-so-very-clean but not-poop-saturated clothes. Did we put her in a clean sleeper before transferring her to her crib? Absolutely not. She is sleeping soundly in her jeans and puke-stained shirt as we speak. Call us bad parents. I call us…genius.
• I am sooooooooooo tired. Good night.

Merry Christmas, Love Avery

Favorite Christmas Memories

Everybody’s got ‘em. Here are some of mine, in somewhat chronological order:

• Getting dressed up and going to Christmas Eve Service with the fam…I loved singing Silent night with everyone holding up candles and the lights all out. Sometimes there is no replacement for an old school carol by candlelight.
• Driving around and looking at lights with the fam. But we were always itching to get home because Honeybaked Ham and a Christmas movie were waiting there!
• Waking up early with my younger sister and then trying soooo hard to get my older sister out of bed…no one was allowed downstairs until we were all up!
• There was huge anticipation in my house for the big reveal. My parents went ALL OUT for Christmas. The presents weren’t under the tree, they poured out about three feet in every direction around the tree! Yes, we were spoiled. We turned out ok though, mostly.
• My parents always wanted to capture our anticipation on camera. I have sooo many memories of sitting at the top of the stairs waiting what seemed like hours for my mom to get her coffee, and my dad to set up the video camera.
• Then he would bring the camera to the bottom of the stairs and interview us talking about what we were hoping Santa had brought us the night before.
• FINALLY we got to open presents. It was the best! We all had to take turns, watch eachother, try things on, etc. It took forever.
• My dad videotaped the whole thing. If the video ran out, Christmas morning stopped until he put a new tape in…VHS…you know it.
• I can’t remember what we ate Christmas morning but I think bisquick biscuits were on the menu. They were a staple in our house.
• Loved going to one of my uncles’ houses with my big crazy Pakistani family.
• Always exchanged gifts in a huge family secret santa.
• Nothing beats a jolly Pakistani middle aged man…with an accent…in a Santa suit…handing out presents.
• ALWAYS ate Indian food on Christmas. Mmmmmmmmmm. Best food on the planet.

What’s your favorite childhood Christmas memory?

What do you do…

when you get hit with two winter storms in one weekend?

Stay inside and take pictures of your kid…ideally without clothes on:

Why does she look so mad here? Probably because I’m about to do this:

Don’t feel bad for her, feel bad for me. Why did I have to bathe her in the first place? Because the kid who looks this cute from the front…

had just done this in the back:

No kids, those aren’t sweet potatoes. Babies are disgusting. Take it from us.

Snowed in (probably part 1 of 2)

Last night Brian and I had originally planned on going out on a hot date…taking advantage of his mom’s offer to babysit (even though she’d babysat all week while we were working!) but once we saw the forecasts that started earlier in the week, we realized that going out would probably not happen! Instead, we made stir-fry at home, made a fire, shoveled every three hours, and sipped hot chocolate in between.

The highlight of the evening, however, was watching an old school favorite kids movie, for both of us. An American Tail was on HBO Family! I remembered the movie from being a kid mostly because of “Somewhere Out There.” Brian, however, must have been in the official American Tail fan club as a kid…he knew every word of every song. We sat and watched the whole movie, start to finish! Truth be told, we sang along a lot. Him more than me. If I had a dollar for every time he belted out “There are nooooo cats in America and the streets are paved with cheeeese” in a russian accent, I would have had enough money to pay someone to plow!

Anyways, towards the end of the movie, Avery woke up and the three of us sat on the couch together, the two of us singing “Somewhere Out There” at the top of our lungs to our little girl. Poor thing, we become dorkier parents with every day that passes! By the time she hits kindergarten she’ll be dying to leave us at home!

Either way, I look forward to a lot more family nights at home watching kids movies. Funny how your idea of a great Friday night changes when you get old and have a kid!

Doesn’t it feel like Christmas?

I’m obviously a big fan of Christmastime…I look forward to it all year, start brushing off Christmas CDs early, and keep my tree up until Brian forces me to take it down. And every year I wish I could just enjoy the season without the stress of entertaining, cooking, sending cards, and buying gifts for everyone I know.

Oddly enough, this year, such stressors have been removed. We warned our families long ago that this would be a lean Christmas (in other words, expect pictures of Avery and nothing else) since I will have just come off of my only partially paid maternity leave. We didn’t have a Christmas party this year either. I’m not even sending real Christmas cards…I still haven’t finished sending birth announcements!

Usually by this time (T minus seven days) I’d be using up every free moment trying to find that last gift or cook for, say, twenty people. But this season has been stress free (aside from having a newborn, going back to work full time, and finding out I will no longer have a job in a few weeks). Ok, it’s been close to stress free.

And the strangest thing has happened…I don’t feel like Christmas is really coming. Wow, reality check. Has Christmas for me been reduced to giving gifts and throwing parties?

Because of this realization, I’m trying more than ever to focus on the true meaning of Christmas. Not just being with friends and family and giving to others. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but what if it was all taken away and all that was left was “Christmas” and not all that comes along with Christmastime? Would it be enough? Would it still feel like Christmas?

Weekend in Review

• All I can say is: Ice, Ice, Baby. Friday’s Ice Storm gave us a Howe Family Friday at home together, complete with shoveling and pajamas. Good times.
• We started to hear about the power outages, which affected 60% of our small group (actualy, 58.3%…forgot about the bambinos), and started extending invites. People said how nice we were to open up our home…but really it was just that we love our small group and we love grown up sleepover parties.
• Headed to my soon-to-be-former-company Holiday party. I love Buca di Beppo. Avery had a blast. She loves a party.
• Came home and hung out with Kevin & Leah, our first powerless guests at the Hotel de Howe. 
• Woke up, worked out with Brian and Jillian Michaels (via Exercise TV on demand), and then got a call from Steve and Jenn that they could no longer survive in their home with only the heat from their gas fireplace (to which we responded: DUH! COME OVER!)
• Baby Drew and Baby Avery had their second date. They both slept through the first one…this time, they had dinner together (mommies’ simultaneous nursing session) then played footsies. Pictures to come!
• Jenn is Australian and I’m Pakistani, so when I told Brian that the babies “had dinner together” he said, “Huh. Avery ate at India House and Drew ate at Outback.” 
• Fortunately everyone got their power back that night!
• Had a great time at the NC facilities team party tonight. Talk about a generous bunch. They, once again, served and blessed everyone who came! Not to mention, they are a lot of fun. We wish we could have stayed longer but Avery was grrrrrouchy. She is working on her Grinch impression for Christmas. I think she’s got it down.
• Brian’s mom just got here…she is on Grammy duty while I finish up work this next week and a half. She and Avery will have a blast!
• I have been going to bed late for over a week now and I am tiiiiiiiiiiiiiired. Jillian Michaels will be kicking my butt again at 6:30 tomorrow…hey, as long as it keeps getting smaller instead of bigger, I don’t care how hard she kicks it!