
Today, being Mother’s Day and all, I had the afternoon open to do whatever my heart desired. Today, my heart desired to buy lots of flowers and plant them with Avery after her nap. Being the thrifty (read: cheap) woman I am, I decided that instead of buying the $20-30 big pots of petunias to fill the urns on our porch, I’d buy the flats for about half the price and just put them together myself. Besides, it would be a fun first planting activity for Avery and I. What three-year old doesn’t love digging in the dirt a few extra minutes?
Well it took more than a few extra minutes to fill the urns with tiny petunias, but I enjoyed the time outside in the sunshine making a ginormous mess with my girl…and her adorable new child-sized gardening gloves. We smelled flowers, got very muddy, and somewhere in the middle of it, Avery said something that stopped me in my tracks. See, I was struggling to figure out the best way to turn those little 4 packs into a neat, even, round mound of blooms (like the $30 ones), so I spent the first 15 minutes giving Avery manageable tasks, like “Ok Ave, go get another scoop of soil and pour it right here,” or “Ave, can you hand me another flower,” but I was doing all the actual planting. At this particular moment, however, I watched Avery dig a small hole in the pot, put a flower in, and pack dirt around it…all with absolutely no instruction from me.
Somewhat shocked, I immediately responded with “Ave, you did an awesome job planting that flower, how did you do that?!” And with the honesty and innocence of a child, she looked me right in the eyes and said “I’ve been watching you do it, Mom.”
This morning, Kyle shared a great message on Colossians 3…it kinda stopped me in my tracks too. It wasn’t that I’d never heard that passage before…rid yourself of anger, rage, malice, slander, filthy language, lying…and put on your new self…compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience and forgiveness. It was the context we were discussing them in…the home. I was hit over the head with the realization that I am least likely to work hard at putting on those traits in my home than anywhere else. I wouldn’t be caught dead with co-workers or friends displaying anger or rage, but then I think of the daily grind…the ordinary moments that make up the majority of my life. The busy mornings filled with breakfast, baths, and rushing out the door, the evenings cooking and cleaning up dinner, the countless naptimes and the bedtimes. And I have a hard time using the words humility, gentleness, and patience to describe myself. I’m not saying I’m constantly malicious at home! But I will confess that the moments I am least humble, least gentle, least patient; they are with the people I love the most.
Kyle made a great point…if we don’t put this “new self” on regularly in our homes, when the world isn’t watching, how can we expect to have the ability to respond to the tense and unexpected situations of life with patience, humility, or forgiveness?
Maybe it’s because it was Mother’s Day, or because I’ve got my growing family on the brain (and in the belly!), but all I could think about was my response in the home. And although I couldn’t quite enunciate them yet, I was thinking about those words that Avery later spoke to me…”I’ve been watching you do it, Mom.”
Why is it that I can show more patience to a stranger than my own daughter or my husband? Why don’t I use my energy showing compassion, kindness and gentleness to those I live with, instead of extending it generously to my friends and colleagues, and then coming home with an empty tank? Not just because my family is more important, or because I love them more (both of which are true)…but because in those ordinary, seemingly insignificant moments of life, when it seems like no one’s watching or like it doesn’t matter how I respond, little eyes and ears are taking in every word, every move, every reaction.
I think sometimes as parents we let ourselves think that our insightful lessons and lectures are the things our kids retain, but nothing speaks louder than what they observe in us every day. What do I want to model for this young mind?
“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.” Colossians 3:23
I want her to see a woman with a consistent spirit. Who works hard to be humble and obedient whether I’m in front of a hundred people…or two. Who models forgiveness even when it’s not fair. Whose patience is rooted in a divine contentment. I want her to see it every day…so when it comes time for her to react to a difficult situation her mind will turn immediately to what she is used to seeing from her Mom and her Dad, who she’s been spending all those ordinary moments with.
And somehow, when I compare that 8 hour workday with the seemingly insignificant breakfasts, get-dressed’s, dinners and bedtimes, the ordinary becomes much more than that. It becomes truly extraordinary; the most important part of my day. Suddenly, when I realize that my daughter’s eyes are taking in every move I make, we’re not just spending a Sunday afternoon planting flowers. We’re planting seeds.




